A Look at the Life of Remus Lupin
by LLPotter
Summary: Remus Lupin is greiving a certain charcters death. Can Tonks help? Please read and review.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters  
mentioned in J.K Rowling's books. Never have, never will. There I've  
admitted it, so please don't sue me.  
  
A Look at the Life of Remus Lupin.  
  
It was a warm July night and Remus Lupin was depressed. He sat at the kitchen table at 12 Grimmauld Place looking at an old book of photos. There they were, happy and well. A silent tear coursed down his cheek.  
"WHY ME GOD?" he shouted to the seemingly empty house. CRASH. He jumped up, grabbing his wand in the process. Behind him stood Tonks, who had just knocked over a chair. "Hello," she said looking rather red in the face. "Did I interrupt something?"  
"No, come in," he said with a sigh. He quickly whipped his eyes, before saying "I was just thinking.out loud"  
"Anything you want to talk about?" she replied while picking up the chair. Please she thought, please talk to me. He must have seen the pleading look in her eyes, because he consented.  
"Alright," he said, "what do you want to talk about?"  
"I want to talk about what's bothering you," she said, "you're so withdrawn lately. It's like you're not even here half the time. It's not healthy to keep these things bottled up inside of you. I... I mean the Order doesn't want to loose you to yourself."  
"Since when have you been such an expert on feelings Nymph?" replied Remus with a small harsh laugh.  
"I'm not completely ignorant you know," she shot back, "and Don't call me that, my name is Tonks." Why did he call me that, she thought to herself. In an attempt to direct the conversation away from herself, she said, "Anyway, what is the matter?"  
"I think that that would be obvious," he said. The pleading look was back in her dark eyes. Eyes to get lost in, he thought, but quickly shook the thought away. She's way too young for you, you shouldn't think thoughts like that, he silently reprimanded himself. "You really want to know, because this might take a while." She nodded, so he began his story. "Well, you know that I'm a werewolf, but you probably don't know how it came about, or what comes with it." She shook her head. "Well, one day when I was very small, my mum told me to take a nap. I of course didn't want to and snuck out of my room. I wandered into the forest, and there I encountered a werewolf. Of course I was bitten. The full moon was the next day, and it was living hell. The transformation was terrible. Now of course I have the potion, and it is much better, but it didn't exist back then. From that day on my life became one nightmare after another. Other children were taught to hate me and I was shunned. My parents tried to help, but there wasn't much that they could do. Then I turned 11. That was the best and worst year of my life. I was accepted into Hogwarts and I didn't have to tell anyone about my little secret. I anxiously awaited September the 1. At Hogwarts I made friends, three friends to be exact, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew. Then in March, the owl came. My father was dead. I wouldn't have survived that time without my friends. But life goes on and so did mine. My friends grew and so did I. They had their moments, and so did I, although their moments always seemed to include Snape. Of course my secret was discovered and they became animagi. And then it was over, we were finished with Hogwarts, and we were cast into the real world. And with this new world came more rejection. I had difficulty getting a job, and keeping it. I of course had my friends, but they had there own lives. James married Lily, and I was happy for them, but there was jealousy too. Of course I didn't like Lily that way; it was more the idea of her. It seemed like James always got every thing. Who would want to marry a werewolf?" He paused here, and realized what he had just said. Remus blushed, and said, "Anyway, they had great lives. But Voldemort was on the move and no one was safe. We all joined the Order together, and for a while, in the midst of the terror of the time I found some happiness. My friends and I were together again, working together. But again the happiness was fleeting. The prophecy was made and the Potters went into hiding. You of course know the story. This was one of the biggest blows of my life. James and Lily and presumably Pettigrew were dead, and Sirius had betrayed them. While the rest of the world celebrated, I mourned. But as I said before, life goes on. In Harry's third year at Hogwarts, I got a job there. It was that year that I learned of Sirius' innocence, and Pettigrew's betrayal. It was a blow and a victory at the same time. Of course after almost killing Harry and his friends in my transformed state, I quit. Voldemort's reincarnation threw me back into the Order, and of course back in with Sirius. It was like Christmas come early to spend time with him again. And then this." At this he broke off, his voice breaking.  
"Oh Remus," breathed Tonks. "I never knew."  
"Most people don't," he sighed, furiously brushing away his tears.  
"It's ok to cry," she said, while hesitantly putting her arms around him. With this statement, he sobbed into her shoulder. "Shhh," she said, "it's ok." Her own tears falling silently onto his prematurely graying head. They sat like this for a long time. Finally, they reluctantly broke apart. "How about some tea?" she asked.  
"I think that I'll pass," he replied, "I'd like to just go to sleep now."  
"Alright," she said, "I'll come with you." He raised a questioning eyebrow at her. "I meant to my own bed," she said hurriedly. He stood, the promptly feel back into his chair.  
"Guess I'm a little more tired than I thought," he said.  
"When was the last time you slept?" she asked.  
"About 28 hours ago," he answered a little guiltily. So she slung his arm around her shoulder, and they headed towards his room. When they got there, she pulled down the covers of his neatly made bed, and gently set him down on it. "Will you be alright now?" she asked.  
"Should be," he said. "Goodnight Tonks," he smiled up at her through sleepy eyes.  
"Goodnight Remus," she replied, and then on an impulse, she leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. Then she quickly turned and left the room. Under the blankets, Remus smiled to himself, and whispered "I love you."  
Outside in the hall way, Tonks leaned against his door, half proud and half mortified at what she had just done. "I love you," she whispered to the closed door. Then she turned, and walked to her own room.  
  
(A:N) So, what did you think? Should I continue? Please review, and try to be nice, this is my first fic. 


	2. Coffee and a talk

Disclaimer: Don't own. (A:N) Thanks to my reviewers, it really means a lot! So, here's some more!  
  
The next day dawned bright and clear. Remus sat up, yawning, and shaking away the familiar nightmare. It was always the same, him holding onto Harry, while they watched Sirius fall through the veil, never to return. How long was this going to haunt him? He sighed, and got out of bed, pulling out one of his least battered robes. Then the guilt wracked werewolf made his way down the stairs, what ifs chasing themselves around his head.  
Sitting at the kitchen table, when he walked in, was Tonks and Snape. He sighed. Two people he didn't really want to see right now. Snape for obvious reasons, and Tonks, because of what he'd said last night. "Snape, Tonks," he said, and nodded a curt greeting before heading to the coffee pot, slightly pink in the cheeks.  
They nodded back, before, turning back to their respective business. Remus was wondering, as to what Snape was doing in this particular kitchen at that particular hour, when Snape said, "just delivering a report Lupin, no need to look so territorial, then again, I don't suppose that you can really help that now can you?" Before Remus had the chance to pull out his wand and hex him, Snape gave him an evil little smirk, and disapparated.  
"Forget it," said Tonks, rising and heading to the stove. "Ever since, well... a few weeks ago, he's been acting like he's got something up his ahhh." Remus lunged, but it was too late to stop the falling coffee pot.  
He gently pulled her over to the sink, sticking her arm under the cold water tap to prevent major burning. "You ok," he asked, his eyes filled with worry.  
"Yeah," she answered, blinking away the small tears of pain that had started in her eyes. "I'm so damn clumsy," she whispered.  
"We all have our faults love," he said, gently splashing the cool water over her burnt arm. She chose not to comment on his use of words, but gave him a small smile instead.  
"What happened?" asked Mad-Eye Moody, who had just walked into the kitchen with Mundungus Fletcher, and Bill Weasley.  
"Spilled a bit of coffee," said Remus, "nothing life threatening." With this assurance, Mad- Eye went back to arguing with Mundungus about something he had stolen, while Bill looked on with amusement. Remus took out a soft cloth, and dried off Tonk's arm.  
"So," said Remus to Bill, "when is your family coming?"  
"They should be arriving with Hermione around two," was the reply.  
"And Harry?" Bill asked.  
"A group will be going for him as soon as it's dark enough," said Remus. That was all that any of them could manage at that hour of the morning, and each fell back into the stupor of early morning. The only one's that seemed alive were Mad-Eye and Mundungus, who were still arguing. But conflict was brewing Tonk's mind. Should she say something? The worst that he could do was reject her.  
In the end, she ended up saying, "Remus, could we talk in the other room for a minute?" Mundungus and Mad-Eye paused for a moment in there argument to raise an eyebrow at each other, but other than that, no other notice was made of their departure.  
"So, what is it that you wanted?" said Remus, while staring pointedly at the wall.  
"Umm, yeah, well about last night." She said. "I wanted to make sure that you were ok."  
"Yes, I'm fine," replied Remus, "just a little breakdown." Then as an afterthought, he added, "would you mind not mentioning this to anyone?"  
  
"Sure," she said. She thought; I hate the word "fine". He smiled at her, and turned to leave the room, he was almost to the door, when she called, "Remus, would you like me to ask Snape to make a dreamless sleep potion for you?"  
"Why would I want that?" he asked warily.  
"Well," she said a bit nervously, "I heard you yelling in your sleep last night. You were shouting for Sirius, then yelling at Harry, and then you started crying," she broke off lamely. "I just thought that you would like to not have to replay that day over and over again."  
"Well I guess, but don't tell him that it's for me, I'd never hear the end of it."  
"Ok," she said brightly, "you're going to get Harry tonight?" He nodded. "See you later then."  
"Goodbye," he said as she walked out of the room. Then, smiling to himself, he walked out the opposite door. 


	3. Arrivals

Disclaimer: Is this even necessary any more? Well I don't own them (wish I did!)  
  
A:N: Thanks again to reviewers! It really makes my day, and motivates me to write, so keep 'em coming. So here's more.  
  
And so, at ten after two, the Weasley's arrived. "Molly, Arthur, Ron, Ginny, Hermione," shouted Tonks as she ran to greet them in the front hall.  
"Shouldn't we be a little quieter?" asked Ron. "We don't want to wake Her." With this statement, he shot a worried glance down the dark hallway.  
"O," said Remus, who had just come down the hall, following Tonk's shouts. "It was destroyed a few weeks ago." He blushed a bit, and said hastily, "Shall we take your stuff up?" Ron, Ginny, and Hermione followed him up the stairs, toting assorted luggage and a rather disgruntled Crookshanks. The rest, however, hung back.  
"Exactly how did that painting get destroyed?" asked Molly.  
"Well," replied Tonks, "Mrs. Black was shouting rather loud and nasty things one day, and Remus kinda, well, he tore her to shreds with a butcher knife." She said this rather fast, and guiltily, looking over her shoulder for Remus. "Let's get this stuff upstairs," she said a little too perkily. They nodded and set off.  
"Has he had any other bouts of temper?" asked Molly after a while. "Is he safe?"  
"Yes, he's safe," she sighed, "this is nothing that's not to be expected." After everything was put away, they headed off to the kitchen.  
  
"How's your arm?" asked Remus.  
"Fine," was her reply, as she subconsciously touched it. I hate the word "fine" thought Remus.  
"Well can I look?" asked Remus gently, yet firmly. She sighed and stuck out her arm, rolling up the sleeve, silently rejoicing at the excuse for him to touch her.  
"It looks alright," he said, "but I want to put some healing slave on it." She nodded, and followed him to the cabinet, where he got it and started gently rubbing it into her burnt skin.  
"You'll make a great father," she blurted. Why did I say that, she thought, mentally slapping herself. He gave her a questioning look.  
They were saved from the moment when Ron asked, "What happened?"  
"Spilled coffee" grunted Tonks, wincing slightly in pain.  
"There," said Remus as he finished securing a bandage, "that should help with the healing."  
"It's really good to have you here," said Tonks, "real food at last!" Molly smiled at the compliment.  
"My cooking is just fine!" protested Remus.  
"Of course it is," said Tonks brightly, "if you like burnt cardboard." She added in an undertone. Ron and Ginny burst out laughing, and Hermione smiled.  
"If you're done with this verbal attack on my cooking," said Remus huffily.  
"Well I suppose," sighed Tonks with a wink. I should be mad right now thought Remus. Why then does that make me so happy?  
He was saved, by the ringing of the doorbell. "Wonder who that is," said Molly.  
Bill smiled, and said, "I'll get it," in a singsong voice. A few moments later, Fred and George Weasley walked into the kitchen.  
"MUM," they both shouted, turning white, then red, as they turned to face Bill. "Not going to be here, huh?" asked Fred accusingly.  
"Well you had to talk sometime!" yelled Bill, "now you're both here, so go talk." The tips of his ears were a rather bright shade of red. So, that's what they did.  
After they had left, Ron said, "Bet anyone a sickle that we have to dig them out of their graves when she's done with them."  
"I'd love too," said Ginny, "but I agree with you."  
  
A few hours later, the group that was going for Harry, assembled at the door. "Everyone knows what to do?" asked Moody. The group nodded, and disapparated. Many miles away, on 4 Privet Drive, the boy known as Harry Potter was lying on his bed. His summer hadn't been too bad. His "family" had basically ignored him; terrified that if they made him unhappy he would write to the group that had confronted them in the train station. Their fears were well founded. I turn 16 tomorrow, thought Harry, great way to spend my sweet 16. Just as this thought formed, there was a loud crack, and a large group of people appeared at the foot of his bed.  
"Hello Harry," said Remus.  
"Profs, I mean, Remus," shouted Harry.  
"You sure." Moody started, but was cut off by a loud "yes" from the rest of the group. Remus and Harry had been writing all summer, but calling him by his first name was still a habit that Harry had to pick up.  
  
"What's all the noise about?" shouted Uncle Vernon, sticking his head in the door. He took one look around, saw the crowd, and promptly left. They all laughed a bit at this.  
"Well get your stuff together Harry," said Bill, "we have to be going. Harry looked at Tonks, who understood, and quickly said the spell that she had used the previous year.  
"Are we flying again?" asked Harry hopefully. He had recovered his broomstick, and was anxious to fly again.  
"Sorry Harry," said Remus," too risky. We've authorized a Portkey. I know that your Uncle saw us, but I'll leave this letter just in case."  
"Well let's go then," said Moody. Remus brought a sickle out of his robes, and they all gathered round it. Much to both their pleasure, Remus and Tonks found themselves next to each other, their hands touching on the sickle. He tentatively put his arm around her to "create more room."  
"Three, two, one," whispered Moody. The group all felt the tugging behind their navels, and they went rushing off. They landed hard, on concrete. Try as he might, Remus couldn't keep his balance, and he went crashing down. Much to his delight and horror, Tonks fell right on top of him. They just lay there for a moment, staring into each others eyes.  
He reached up, and tucked a strand of her hair (blue today) behind her ear. "You ok," he whispered.  
"Yeah," she answered, "you?"  
"Alright," was the reply.  
"Hem, Hem," said Bill.  
"Don't ever cough like that again!" said Harry with a shudder. Bill raised an eyebrow, and Harry said "Umbridge."  
"Oooh," said Bill. During this exchange, Tonks and Remus had had the sense to get up off the ground.  
"Where are we," asked Harry.  
"Parking garage," answered Moody, "too dangerous to take a Portkey directly to headquarters." They found the car that would take them to Grimmauld Place. Tonks drove, and the ride was uneventful.  
"Were here," shouted Remus as they entered the house. The thunder of feet could be heard coming down the stairs.  
"Harry!" called Hermione, throwing herself at him.  
"I...Can't...Breathe," gasped Harry.  
"Hello Harry," said Ron, "hungry?"  
"Very," Harry answered.  
"Well then let's eat!" said Ron. The trio walked in the direction of the kitchen. Remus heard Hermione mutter, "Boys," as she walked away with them.  
"Shall we?" asked Tonks.  
"Yes," replied Remus, "let's."  
  
A:N: Wow, that was longer than intended. I'm really sorry if anyone tried to submit an Anonymous review. I didn't realize that I had it set so that you couldn't, until my sister tried. You can now, so go review!!!! 


	4. Harry's Advice

Disclaimer:  Don't own.   

A/N: There will probably only be one more chapter after this, so enjoy! 

                Dinner was a happy affair with everybody together again.  Fred and George had been forgiven, much to everyone's surprise.  The dark shadow of death was still present, but for the time being, it was pushed into the corner.  Remus knew that a talk with Harry was inevitable, but for now it would wait.  He stole a glance across the table at Tonks, who had renewed her mealtime nose changes.  Beautiful, he thought.

                After dinner, everyone drifted off.  Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Hermione went upstairs, to the boy's bedroom.  They flopped down into chairs or onto beds, and got ready for a good deal of catch up.  All of their letters had been very vague in case they were intercepted, but here they could finally talk.  Harry had lost a lot of his anger that had been there the previous year.  It was replaced with sadness, and he grown up a bit.  They talked of many things, the war, Voldemort, and everyday things.  The topic of Sirius was avoided for the most part.  They all knew that Harry would talk when he was ready, and then it would probably be with Remus more than with them.

                Then the conversation took an interesting turn.  "Did any of you notice the looks that Remus and Tonks were giving each other at dinner?" asked Hermione.  

                "Yeah," said Harry, "and when they came to get me, Tonks fell on top of him when we took the Portkey.  They didn't get up for a little while."  

                "It must have been really obvious for Harry to notice!" stated Ginny.  "Sorry Harry, but your not the most romantically inclined person I've ever met." She said in response to the glare that Harry was sending her.  

                "What about Cho?" he asked.

                "You just proved my point," smirked Ginny.   

                "Anyway," said Hermione quickly, "I think that we should help them." 

                Ron and Harry shot a look at one another, groaned inwardly, and nodded their consent.  Ginny looked ecstatic and her and Hermione went off into a corner to make plans.  Ron and Harry started to talk about Quidditch.  They remained like this until Mrs.Weasley came up and shooed them all off to bed.  Right before he fell asleep, Harry thought to himself, must warn Remus about Hermione. 

                                                                    ***  

                The next day dawned bright.  I'm 16 thought Harry to himself, then Sirius' face floated across his mind.  Today was the day, he thought to himself, yes I'm ready to talk about Sirius.  

                He made his way down stairs to the kitchen where Mrs.Weasley was cooking breakfast.  He whispered in Remus' ear that he needed to talk to him, and then sat down next to Tonks (who was sitting very close to Remus).  And so after breakfast Remus followed Harry upstairs to an empty room.  

                "So," started Remus, "umm, what did you want to talk about?" 

                "Well, I wanted to ask you about Sirius, and also about my dad," said Harry.  "I don't really know much about them."  So, Remus told him about them.  For an hour, Remus told stories about the Marauders and their adventures at Hogwarts.  He also told about how life was when Harry was little and about their work for the Order.  He finally concluded with, "They were my best friends, more like brothers really."  Both of them were teary eyed by this point.

                "Harry," Remus started, "Sirius asked me once to look after you if anything ever happened to him.  You can come to me whenever you need some thing, well except maybe money."  This got a laugh and a thanks.  

                Harry got up to go when he remembered something, "Remus," Harry said, "just tell Tonks that you like her, because Hermione and Ginny have plans for getting you two together.  If it was me I don't think that I'd like to be on the end of the receiving end for that." And with that he left the room, leaving a very surprised Remus behind.   

                                                                          *** 

                "I tell her, I tell her not, I tell her, I tell her not," whispered Remus as he sat on a couch, pulling the petals off a flower.  

                "Tell who what?" asked Tonks coming up behind him.

                "Oh, hello," said Remus turning very red, "I was just, well, sit down."  He gestured to the space beside him.  This is it, he thought to himself, just Do it.  

"For a long time now," he started, "I've had feelings for you.  I tried to deny it but they were still there.  Lately it's been getting stronger, and apparently it's rather obvious, because Harry noticed.  I understand if you never want to talk to me again.  The age difference is big, really big, and I've told myself that over and over again, but I can't hide from the truth any longer; I love you Nymphadora Tonks!"  He said this quickly, and then looked down, blushing brighter than ever.

                She was silent for a moment, and then she reached over and tilted up his chin so that he was looking at her.  She leaned in slowly and placed a soft kiss on his lips.  

                "I do believe that the feeling is mutual," she said softly, then went back for more.  

To be sung to the Meow Mix song:

Please Review, Please Review, Please, Please, Please Review, Please  Re  view!


	5. Epilogue

A/N: Last chapter, enjoy!

 Takes place about two years after the end of the last chapter.    

                "Remus, Remus, Remus," shouted a very excited Tonks, as she burst through the front door of 12 Grimmauld Place.

            "What's wrong Nymph, what happened?" he answered walking in to greet her from the kitchen.  The couple had moved in permanently two years ago.  It still served as the headquarters for the Order, but Remus held the deed to the house.  Sirius had left it to him in his will.

            "Nothings wrong," she practically shouted, "everything is wonderful, beautiful..."  He grabbed her by the wrists, turned her around, and kissed her full on the mouth.  That shut her up very quickly.

            "Now," he said very patiently,"can you tell me, without shouting, exactly what is going on?"  

            "It's Harry," she said, "he's done it, he's defeated Voldemort."

            "When, how," he asked the excitement and joy growing on his face.

            "Last night," came the reply, "we don't know the details yet.  Harry is alive, but in St. Mungos."  Noting the worry on his face, she said, "He'll live.  The injuries are not that serious.  It's finally happened, he's gone for good."  At the last statement, he burst into tears.  He cried for all the victims, for Sirius, for Lily and James, for Cedric, and for the countless others.  He also cried in joy.  His torment was gone.  The fear that had always under shadowed his life was gone.  He was free.

            "Whatever are you crying for?" asked a very confused Tonks as she gathered him into her arms.

            "I'm j...just so happy!" He sobbed into her shoulder.  He quickly dried his tears, and an unreadable expression crossed his face.  "Nymph," he asked using the pet name that he had given her, "will you meet me at the edge of Hogsmeade tonight around seven?" 

            "Alright," she said, "see you there."  With that, she gave him a quick kiss, and skipped off.

                                            ***

            That night at the appointed time, Tonks walked into Hogsmeade.  At the end of the lane she saw Remus and ran to meet him.  Their relationship was a good one, even with the age difference.  

            "So, what's this all about," she asked.  He placed a finger to his lips, and took her hand, leading her off to a blanket that she had not noticed before.

            "I thought that we would have a celebration picnic," whispered Remus.  He waved his wand and the candles ignited.  They sank onto the blanket together both smiling broadly.  The meal was a good one.  Remus' cooking skills had come a long way.

            Towards the end of the meal, he pulled something out of his pocket.  "Nymph," he began," we've been through a lot together, and I really hate to think of what life would be like without you.  I love you.  I've been waiting for the end of the war and here it is, so would you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?"  With this statement, he opened the small black box that he was holding, to reveal a ring.  

            "O Remus," she breathed, "yes, yes I'll marry you."  She flung herself into his arms and kissed him fiercely.  "I love you."  

            "You know," said Remus, "I'm sure that there are some great parties happening tonight." 

            "Well what are we waiting for?" she said. "Let's go."

                                    *** 

            Four months later, they were married.  It wasn't a very large ceremony, but it was fun.  Harry was Remus' best man, having fully recovered from his injuries.  And so, they lived happily ever (or as happily as you can!)   

                                    The End

A/N: Well there it is; the end.  Hope you enjoyed it.  Please tell me about it! Thanks to all who have reviewed, and to all who will review!  Bye!


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